


Watch the World Burn: Come Back

by LadyCorvidae, roseforthethorns



Series: Watch the World Burn [6]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bit of dirty talk, Cuddling, Established Relationship, Fear of loss, Fear of love, Insomnia, Lots of Angst, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Sad times, Snogging, So much angst, Swearing, Teasing, hurt comfort, implied sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-13 11:50:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCorvidae/pseuds/LadyCorvidae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseforthethorns/pseuds/roseforthethorns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few weeks after saving Seb, our favorite murder husbands are back in London at their flat.</p><p>Thank you, ladycorviade. I'm nothing without you</p><p>(I own nothing of these characters. All Sherlock rights go to the BBC, Moffat, and Gatiss. I'm just having some fun.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watch the World Burn: Come Back

Jim paced the room, in a black mood.

They had been back in London for three days; Seb was still recovering from his captivity and torture, and it wasn't helping. Jim was still reminded about how scared he was, about how _weak_ he was every single day. He had nightmares now... nightmares that had his husband's lifeless eyes staring at him accusatorially, his dead mouth twisting to form the words: " _You didn't come fast enough, Jimmy. Why did you take so long? Where. Were. You?_ " He'd wake up soon after that in a cold sweat, trembling, with tears leaking out of his eyes. The first time he had that nightmare, he had been violently sick. It still plagued him, even after Seb was somewhat back to his old self. Limping slightly and grumbling with how sore he still was, Sebastian wandered into the sitting room on his way to the kitchen. "You didn't wake me, Jimmy."

He stopped pacing, his eyes still cold, but they softened as he saw who it was. "Because you need your rest, my love. Go on, go sit. You shouldn't be up and about just yet," he said, guiding Seb to a chair.

"Oi, I'm just fine, you worry wart."

Jim forced Seb to sit, then draped his arms around his husband's neck and rested his chin atop the taller man's golden curls. "That's all I seem to do now," he murmured, half to himself.

The blonde hummed softly, pressing a kiss to the sleeve of his lover's suit. "You didn't come to bed last night... I was worried. Are you _sure_ that you're fine?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," he replied, burying his nose in Seb's hair, taking in his scent.

The sniper's soldier's sense was drumming in his skull, but he ignored it, holding Jim as close as he could. "Long as you're sure, and my arm can't be injured forever. Your Tiger'll be bounding around and bringing home kills for you in no time."

Jim chuckled softly. "Good. Although after this..." he faltered, his voice going half-serious, "-after this, I'm debating on making you a stay-at-home man."

The larger man froze in his seat. " _No_ ," he whispered.

He let out a long sigh. "I know," Jim said.

Gently tugging, Seb guided Jim around the chair and sat him on the sniper's larger legs. "Don't you dare tell me to take it easy. You need comfort, you need hugs, and you need lots of them. So, quit playing 'Mother' for five minutes and let me _in_. Let me _help_. I feel... I feel like I'm losing you, Magpie."

Jim froze and stiffened in Seb's grip; it hurt, hurt them both. But how was he supposed to keep Seb safe if loving him was what got him so hurt in the first place?

"I'm right, aren't I?" Seb asked quietly

The criminal worked his way out of his husband's grip, straightening his suit. "Get some rest," he said absently as he walked off. "I have work to do."

"DON'T WALK AWAY!" the sniper roared, struggling up and gasping as his arm and ribs twinged and his leg gave out, dumping him on the floor. "JIM!"

oOoOo

Jim brushed his teeth and glared at his reflection, at the dark circles under his eyes; he hadn't had a decent night's sleep since Seb was taken, and the nightmares were keeping him awake as well. He scowled as he put his toothbrush away and padded to the bedroom. Seb was already in bed, his back facing the consulting criminal. The shorter man slid in between the sheets next to him; his husband was still mad at him about walking away earlier. So, not for the first time, they fell asleep facing separate ways. Fuming, Sebastian drifted into unconsciousness once Jim's warmth was safely next to his back, the slight reassurance, despite his anger, enough to help him relax and rest. He couldn't believe that after everything, all the shit Jim had put him through over the years that the consulting criminal choose now to decide it was all a mistake, now to completely push his _husband_ away.

The younger man slowly succumbed to the waves of sleep, fighting like hell to keep his head above the water... because with sleep came, invariably, the Nightmare.

  _Alone. He is alone in a warehouse, the single light overhead harsh and unforgiving. Wait... there is a figure there, under the light. Sitting in a chair. He walks towards it. Seb? Sebastian? Yes, it is his husband, and he lets out a sigh of relief. But then he draws closer and he can smell the blood, see it pooling under the legs of the chair. The ropes cut into Seb's wrists, his body cut up and mangled. The flow is sluggish, a drip instead of a trickle. He is already dead, his bright blue eyes filmed over. Jim tries to stop, tries to close his eyes, but he can't. He keeps walking forward until he is nearly touching the body of his husband. With a horrific grinding of broken bones, Seb looks up at Jim, his mangled mouth forming the words "You... you didn't save me. You were too late._ It's your fault _._ "

"No, Sebastian... no, don't... please..."

The man started awake, rolling over to see Jim twisting under the covers and mumbling his name. "Jim?" he whispered.

A broken sob wrenched from his lips as the dream continued. " _All your fault, Jimmy. I died, begging for you._ Pleading _. But you. weren't._ there _. So much for love," the corpse spits, hatred in its dead eyes. "I should never have married you. I should have put a bullet in my brain three years ago. After you_ lied _."_

The younger man's thrashing was getting worse. "James? Jim? Magpie-love, you gotta wake up."

_Jim falls to his knees on the cold concrete floor. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." he said, his hands reaching out to touch the man he loved most._

Sebastian took Jim's hands as they twitched and reached, holding them tight. "James Moriarty, _wake up_."

Shocked awake, his eyes still glazed over from the dream, Jim gasped. He fell out of the bed, hands in front of him to ward off the apparition, still stuck in his nightmare. "I'm sorry! I... I couldn't save you, Sebby... I'm... I'm _sorry_ ," he said, sobbing so hard he could barely speak.

The blonde was out of bed in a heartbeat, crouching in front of his husband and seizing his shoulders. "James, I'm here. Wake up. It's _me_ -"

"My Sebby... my Tiger, I'm so sorry..." he was shaking like a leaf, tears pouring down his face, curled up as small as he could make himself, like he could make the blot that he saw as his life disappear.

"No, no you don't get to do this right now, James," Seb growled, prying the man's arms from around his chest and flattening him out against the floor. "You get to talk right now. You get to explain why you've been having nightmares you haven't told me about, why you're closing up.  You get to _explain_ why I'm suddenly not worth your love."

"Don't you _dare_ say you're not worth it," Jim spat, fully awake now. "I'm not worth _yours_. You were hurt because of me. You almost died because of _me_! I see you dead, every night. Every _night_ , Seb. I didn't get there in time, I wasn't fast enough, I didn't make it. And you're-" his breath hitched and his voice cracked, "-you're tied to a chair and you're d-dead..."

Sebastian's blue eyes widened in shock. "But you did make it in time. I'm here, I sleep by your side, I'm _fine_ , James. And It. Was. NOT. Because of you!" he shouted, eyes going flinty. "I went because you asked. Had it been you, had _you_ been the one taken, don't you think that I would feel the exact same way you do right now? Guilt-ridden? And you'd be the one convincing me it's not my fault, and I'd blame myself anyway because I'm able to protect you-"

"But it _was_ because of me! I _told_ you to go! I _told_ you to! If I had just sent someone else, it wouldn't have happened in the first place."

"Then why was _I_ the one taken? By that statement, you seem pretty confident I was the only one at risk. I would have escaped!"

"They took you to get to me! And how, pray tell, would you have gotten out? I saw that cage they kept you in, the one with the electrified bars. The current was only able to be shut off from the outside. If you had tried to get out you would have _died_ , Sebastian. And it would have all been my _fault_."

"They moved me to the cliffs! You know full well I can fucking _swim_ -" He stopped as if he'd been kicked in the chest. "To- to get to you?"

"I talked to the filth who took you before I killed him. They took you to see how far they could push me. And push me they did. I burned them, I burned them all. I razed that compound to the _ground_ ," Jim said, his eyes aglow with anger and hatred. "And I would do it again in a heartbeat. They. Took. _You_."

"And you're still angry. You haven't let it go," Seb whispered, sitting back on his heels and releasing Jim's wrists from where he'd pinned them to the floorboards.

"Of course I haven't let it go! They took what was most precious to me! If I could, I'd kill them all over again," Jim said, his voice almost a sibilant hiss.

"Do... do you even realize that I'm alive and safe? Is that even computing for you right now?" There was an edge and bite to Seb's voice that hadn't been there a moment before

Jim deflated and shrunk, as if the words had blades attached to them. "I know," he said quietly. "I know you're here and you're alive, and that you're safe. But you were so close to not being any of those things."

Seb sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before leaning forward and dragging Jim up into his arms. "You're an utter moron. I love you, but you can be so _thick_ sometimes. And don't think I'm not pissed at you anymore, but it's not helpful to you right now for me to be angry. I think you're angry enough for the both of us."

Jim nodded and let himself be held, curling up small in Seb's arms; the blonde cradled the consulting criminal close, kissing the side of his head gently. "I hate that you've been so distant, Jimmy. All I've needed is you to be close and you keep pushing me away. Something like that was bound to happen at some point... and I'm so _sorry_ that it was on our honeymoon. I hate seeing you so vulnerable, so small and... and shrunken, Magpie-love."

"How can I love you if that's what got you hurt in the first place, Sebby? It's like... it's like knives on the inside. It _hurts_ because I was the reason why _you_ were hurt," Jim said, his voice fragile and cracked.

"You did it before... I know you hate hearing it, but I had those knives and shards of glass on my insides for three years, love. I thought you were dead. Now you know. I'm not saying it's easier, but now you know."

Jim curled up even smaller. Now that he knew just how Seb felt, it hurt even more.

"Jimmy... oh Jimmy... come back. Where's the confident, suave, slightly insane- well, mostly insane- criminal mastermind I fell for? My Boss who marked me and branded me and made me his?"

"Being married changes a person, Seb," Jim said softly. "I didn't know how much."

"What? you mean you've gone soft?"

He shrugged miserably. "I don't know any more."

Pushing Jim back until he could look at him, Sebastian stared at the brown eyes set in his husband's face. "I'm here. I love you. I never doubted you or stopped loving you. I knew you'd save me. I _knew_ you were coming for me."

Letting out a sigh that seemed wrenched from the bottom of him, Jim nodded and rested his head on Seb's broad, warm shoulder.

"No, _look at me_. Tell me what you see. Tell me _everything_ you see."

Jim moved back and stared, his eyes searching. " I see my Tiger, the man I love. And I..." he choked. "I still see what they did to you."

"What else? That's such a copout answer. Even Sherlock Holmes could see that."

Jim scowled. "If I don't feel like talking, I'm not going to fucking talk."

"Yeah you are. Because I bet Sherlock could see _loads_ more about me than you could right now. Are you really so broken?"

"And what if I am, hm? What if that broke me, Seb?" Jim spat, pushing away, but the blonde refused to let go, holding the man tighter by his arms.

"You're gonna give up? Give in? Let them beat you? Please, I didn't marry the world's greatest whimp. I married the World's Greatest Consulting Criminal: ruthless, determined, intense, a hotter and more vibrant fire than all the stars in all the galaxies combined... and he shines for _me_."

Snarling, Jim twisted out of Seb's grip and knocked him backwards, pinning his arms to the floor. "Damn right they didn't beat me. But I _don't. Want. To Talk_." he hissed.

"And. Why. _Not_?" the sniper growled back, defiant.

"Because I relive it enough in my head. It's enough there. Fine. You're here. You're safe. You're fine. Now shut up."

"And how do you propose I do that? Because I want to talk-"

Jim snarled and stopped Seb's mouth with a kiss, lips plundering, teeth nipping hard at his lover's. Groaning, he kissed back hard, giving what he could but mostly letting Jim have exactly what he wanted; Seb even struggled a bit in the smaller man's grip, making his hands tighten.

"You are here. You are safe now. You are _mine_. And that is enough," Jim rasped, his voice rough from the kiss, panting.

"Keep it up, and I'll never go anywhere ever again," Seb growled, eyes dark. "I've missed _you_."

Jim chuckled, working his way down the side of Seb's neck to his collarbone. "Well, Tiger... it's good to be back."

oOoOo

Lying in bed a few hours later with his arms wrapped around his husband, Seb stared at the ceiling as sleep refused to come to him. He listened to the sound of Jim's breathing: even, slow, calm. The blonde smirked as he marveled at the effect sex always seemed to have on Jim; no matter his mood or frame of mind, he _always_ was calmer and a bit more rational post-earth shattering, glass breaking, headboard endangering-orgasm.

The sniper's mind began to wander back to waking up and seeing Jim mid-nightmare and was forced to suppress a violent shiver. Unconsciously clutching his husband closer to his chest (and, therefore, his heart), Sebastian replayed everything he'd witnessed, thinking through Jim's words and actions and how it had been to see the man practically broken. No one had ever been able to torture the man and get that response... but by taking Seb himself... that had destroyed him.

The blonde knew it would be safer if they went their separate ways, divorced, never heard from each other again, but he knew that would never, _ever_ happen. He, at least, loved the man currently drooling slightly on his chest more than anything in his entire world. And to lose him again would be the final thing that would destroy Sebastian Moran forever.

He kissed the top of Jim's mussed hair and began to hum softly.

Sebastian watched the sun rise through the bedroom window.


End file.
